


oscuridad

by minimalcoloration (orphan_account)



Series: beyond death [2]
Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Angst, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Heroes to Villains, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Multi, Romanticization
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 13:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19975111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/minimalcoloration
Summary: van a estar conmigo hasta que se muerana price paid; the downward spiral.





	oscuridad

The first body drops instantly. Kiran doesn’t tell him until _much_ later, when they are alone- separated. It strikes him like a hammer hitting cooling steel, sends shivers on his spine and sets his panic alight. By the time he’s been told the body’s been already buried under Kiran’s keen eye, Alfonse knows that it’s for the better of his mentality- the mere thought alone sends him spiraling, but part of him yearns to put a name to a face, to see whose death he has wrought with his hands. Kiran places their hands on his shoulders and it’s only then that he realizes he’s crying.

“You are not alone.” Kiran reminds him, firmly, hands traveling to cradle his face- he sees their composure falter when they breathe. “We _will_ get through this, you must stay strong, and you can do this.” Alfonse doesn’t register words, not when his mind drifts into the timespan in-between- how many people had fallen after the first?

“You’re right.” Alfonse lies through his teeth because there’s nothing else he can do to soothe the aching in his heart but lean into Kiran’s touch and pray. Even when the world around him shrouds in darkness when Kiran brings him into a hug- tight yet unsure, he cannot feel anything. The thought will haunt him- it is already haunting him, dragging his heart down into death’s own grip.

Alfonse prays that he will last long enough to take Hel down with him.

Dinner that night is quiet, somber and hesitant. No one wants to speak up and the forest of the dead eats at the atmosphere. Alfonse has no appetite, how can he, and wants to leave. Kiran’s firm hand on his thigh stops him from rising, and when they give a gentle squeeze he covers their hand with his- but his gloves are in the way and he doesn’t end up feeling the warm of their hand under their own. Some part of him, some poor youthful fool, wants to give up- to drop the weapon in his grasp and turn tail. Alfonse cannot run, they are in the maw of the beast, Hel lies just beyond their grasp and with it lays his revenge- his _duty._

“Kiran told me.” Sharena interrupts his thoughts, taking the seat to his left; Kiran remains silent- lost in thought like he had been. “I know it’s hard, but I’ve always believed in you, brother.” Her smile is like a torch in the dark- and he can’t stop himself from smiling back as she leans forward just enough for him to hear her. “If you ever need someone to come to,” Sharena whispers, hands on her knees “I’ll always listen to you, always.” Alfonse doesn’t need any extra implication- he understands, and he closes his eyes and tries to drive the bad thoughts out of his head.

“Thank you.” He responds. Sharena beams, and leans over to break Kiran out of their thoughtful reverie.

Yet as he watches her flutter about their tactician something settles, deep within the pits of his stomach. Something in his mind warns him, twisting a knot as it sneers at him: ‘ _murderer, murderer, murderer.’_ Sharena is so engrossed- so in love with happiness that she blesses them with a sun in the dying world, without her they would be nothing and yet… Something awful creeps up his spine, grips his heart in a copy of how he grips the hilt of his sword, _Sharena will die_. Alfonse tenses, tries to stop the bad feeling- tries to focus on the way Kiran seems newly enthused but his gaze always strays back to his sister. Alfonse knows better, knows to trust his gut intuition- but when it is the one driving a stake through his heart he knows _nothing_.

That night he leads the march- restless, eyes straight ahead but mind spread out thin, knuckle white grip on his hilt while he tries to focus on the shadow of the branches. It’s so hard, the guilt eats him alive every second and if Hel didn’t kill him first he was sure it would. Moving forward is a necessity, he reminds himself over and over, and Alfonse cannot afford to waste much time anymore- he has to end this. For every body that they bury, he thinks, he will be the one to let them rest in peace- with this bitter war over. No matter the cost.

**Author's Note:**

> i got this idea at 4am let's see if i can manage to get all the parts i planned out *cough*  
> also im using spanish more for ~impact~ it's my native language sorry lol
> 
> @drivedef on tumblr, @princessaltena on twitter come yell at me to play feh again


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